And that’s the rest of the story……
Yes, my dad listened to Paul Harvey as I was growing up and I was well aware of Mr. Harvey’s famous tagline “and that’s the rest of the story.” This week I have been thinking about people’s stories and how important the story is to fully understand people and even things.
Judy O’Bannon wrote in a newspaper column about how she has been busy labeling items around her house with small notes telling of that item’s history or origin. She thinks it is important that her children and grandchildren retain the knowledge of where that item originated and what the story is behind it.
While cleaning out my deceased mother-in-law’s basement we sometimes found items with a small scribbled note pinned to them. The notes might say “Lisa’s Easter dress 1964, Bernice made” or “quilt Grandma Holsapple made.” My husband and his siblings found more joy in the scribbled notes from their mother than they did box after box of outdated fashions. But the notes or stories behind the items definitely increased the “value” of each item.
My Aunt Barbara took a writing class and in it she worked on writing down her life story. She wrote of tales of growing up in rural Illinois and teen years in Indianapolis with her brother, which is my father. The writings are priceless to my siblings and I especially since dad died in 2001. It is an enlightening look into his upbringing and his story. This writing inspired me to do the same with my mother. I had heard about a StoryCorps project on NPR. On their site they have a list of great questions to spark conversation http://www.storycorps.org/diy/
I visited mom several evenings and used the NPR questions and my laptop to record her story. I had a great time pushing her to speak a little more about subjects we had never talked about before. I asked; What was the worst thing you did? What are you proudest of in your life? Did you have any favorite aunts or uncles? I bound these writings up into a folder and gave to my 4 siblings at Christmas 2008. I challenged them to talk to mom and explore more stories and record them for our binders.
When dealing with family, friends and coworkers consider that what you see on the surface isn’t all the story going on. Take some time to listen to someone’s story and maybe they’ll take a minute and listen to yours.
I love this, Jan. I have often thought that I needed to do just what you did with your mother with many of my relatives, but didn’t take the time to do it. Now all my grandparents are gone, and their stories are fading in my mind. I need to not make the same mistake with my mother. Thanks for putting that thought in my head.
Jan, your blog gave me a reminder shot of something both my mother and grandmother did. They would write notes and leave them for us, if we might stop by and they wouldn’t be home. Once post it’s came into existence, my Mom left notes in various places: one of our favorites was in the bathroom at our Cape Cod home. It said please wipe down the shower have each use, as the water leaves a blue stain. Before we sold that home, one thing we all wanted was the sayings throughout the house. Both my brother and I have that saying in a prominent place in our bathrooms. A friendly reminder of our mother, her sense of purpose and humor. Thanks for the memories.