LIVE UNITED Y’All!

by Cindy Lehnert

I have a friend whose family seems to be in a constant state of turmoil.  Old wounds run deep and any current disagreement reopens the deepest wounds.  As an outsider looking in, it would seem that the foundation of the family structure is in danger of collapsing and needs to be repaired.

We all have our issues and arguments to be sure.  The key to survival as a family is to not let the tiny repairable cracks turn into foundation-threatening fissures.  Family disagreements hurt not only the parties involved, but other members of the family who feel torn between their loved ones.  When the feud is so bitter that one person stops communication altogether, it is particularly painful because the family members not directly involved lose contact with that person as well.

Soothing the hurt and repairing the damage done takes work and the first step is to make the decision to put forth the effort.  Healing a family requires a commitment.  This is especially true if the issue has not been fully resolved.  You need to find a way to see and understand the other’s point of view.  You don’t have to agree with it, but you do need to try to understand it.  Then find a connection and communicate.

Lack of communication allows cracks to open wider and foundations to begin to crumble.  Listening and hearing are vitally important.  We can talk all we want, but if no one is listening, there is no communication.  If face to face communication is too difficult, try talking on the phone, by email or letter.  Attend family functions and share good news and heartbreaks.  It is important to minimize the cracks and maintain as many good relationships as possible.

The goal is to attain a level of reconciliation, not resolve old wounds.  For this process you will need to have realistic expectations.  Resolution will take time and effort.  You will have small wins, like spending Thanksgiving dinner peacefully or spending an hour or two chatting about nothing in particular.

Learn from your experiences and make sure that things don’t get out of hand again.  If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask.  It is never too late.  Call Metro United Way 2-1-1 and let them know what you need.  They and many other Metro United Way supported agencies are there to help people just like you.

Photo Credit: vtbrak

General, Health 2-1-1, Agencies, Family

I wasn’t aware when it was occurring, but it seems I was raised to think serving others is an important thing to do. Perhaps by osmosis, as I saw my mom be the Boy Scout leader or my dad help neighborhood kids work on their cars, I recognized serving others is important.

So as a fairly new member in my church, I was looking for a place to help out. The morning bulletins showed several needs in the church such as child care, building maintenance and hospitality committee. I decided to serve through the Audio/Video Team; it looked easy enough to click through the words that keep us all singing the right songs. Well, I guess I should have researched a little better before I signed up. This role needs to be present for the Wednesday night choir practice, prepping the slides before hand and also be present an hour and a half before church to run through everything again. So hearing me grumble about how this community service is asking more of me than I thought would be required, imagine my embarrassment and humiliation when I heard of a friend’s commitment to serve others.

Debbie has been on a bone marrow registry for about six years from a registry drive for a local attorney. Short story is that she has gone through the testing and is a match for a 14-year-old girl with leukemia. The harvest is set for July 9^th. So as I’m grumbling about the two hours extra a week that I’ve committed to – Debbie is giving up several vacation days, expecting a few days of stiffness, undergoing full anesthesia for the procedure and donating a life giving piece of herself. Hmmph, makes my AV service feel a bit trivial. She always has been the over achiever.

So join with me as we pray for the bone marrow recipient, the doctors involved and Debbie that all goes well and it is a life saving success for the recipient.

Now, my message is not that you need to be a hero and the only service that counts is the big stuff. That is not true. You need to serve where you are and however you can. All service is important. My message is to serve joyfully, be thankful that you CAN serve and also recognize there are times when you may receive the services and to do that joyfully also.

For more info about bone marrow donation go to www.bethematch.org

Jan and Debbie

General, Volunteering Change the World, Community, community service, Live United, making a difference

The Obama Administration is betting that 81 days can strengthen a movement, a movement of change through volunteering.

Metro United Way has been part of that movement for a while now, and is excited to have such strong support for volunteering from the President and the First Lady this week.

Yesterday, June 22, was the launch of United We Serve, a national effort initiated by President Obama to engage more Americans in serving their communities. It is an extended call to service challenging all American to help lay a new foundation for growth by engaging in sustained, meaningful community service. The initiative runs for 81 days through a new National Day of Service and Remembrance on September 11.

The Administration is working with hundreds of national and local organizations like Metro United Way to encourage participation in the effort and launched the Serve.gov website to help make it easy for all to get involved. Metro United Way is listed on the Serve.gov website as the local volunteer connection place in Louisville, surrounding counties and Southern Indiana area.

The United We Serve initiative shares two of Metro United Way’s key focus areas of Education, Income, and Health, and is a great way to highlight and promote strong efforts already underway in the Louisville area and communities across the nation.

Local volunteer opportunities can be found on our website at www.metrounitedway.org

Michelle Obama’s address to the opening session at the National Center for Volunteer and Service Conference in San Francisco:

http://www.volunteeringandservice.org/live/opening-session.cfm

K. Thompson

General Change the World, Common good, Community, Live United, Volunteer

by Kelly Hutchinson, Donor Relations

I would like to take a moment today and congratulate all the fine people who have made the switch from analog to digital. Once again, we as Americans have survived another important milestone. It seems if we ban together we can accomplish anything!

I laughed out loud recently at this FB post made by a friend. I also quickly thought about a deeper message that entered my mind. I thought to myself, so the big day finally arrived, passed and went unnoticed. Sort of like the Y2k bug that never really reared a pesty head but the hype leading up caused such a stir.

Then, I thought a little bit more….One of the real challenges we have in our work at Metro United Way is in getting the message of our work out into our community. If you are a volunteer, donor or both then I would want to say THANK YOU as that is always a most important message. I know have along the way learned the value of lending your time, talents and treasure the United Way.

However, if you are in the pool of people who aren’t quite sure about the value of United Way, what we do, or the opportunities created, well then you need to know more.

Our goal is to advance the common good and share opportunities to give, advocate and volunteer for vital health and human services that will impact education, income and health in our community. At Metro United Way, we change the lives of those who walk by us everyday and we can change what we see in our world.

Stay with me on this… Think about it…What a difference it would make if the same dedicated messaging, and urgency -I recall for at least a year no less watching the scrolls, commercials and reminders to be ready for the impending switch from analog to digital TV- could be applied to helping our community.

Hmmm…I wonder what would happen for our neighbors, friends, and community if the same effort and level of importance this constant messaging created in citizens could be used to advance the common good and inspire people to get involved, and prepare to create some community change?

We would see progress toward bold goals and we would help make things better for all of us. Because we all win when families are financially stable, when children succeed in school and when we enjoy good health.

You too can share the good news, spread an important message and create a ground swell of awareness and support. You can also join with me in an easy, affordable way to make a big difference today by joining the Give 5 Now virtual campaign for Metro United Way. Check it out, share the message and Thanks!

Advocacy, Education, General, Giving, Health, Income advocate, Common good, community change, give, Give 5 Now, United Way, Volunteer

By Cori Gadansky

Last week was a big one for Success By 6. After months of hard work, we announced that a new developmental screening tool is available for any parents in our region to use with their children who are ages birth to five. Click here to request an Ages & Stages Questionnaire for your child. This tool will help parents know if their children are on the right track for success. If children are developing typically parents will receive some basic parenting information from our Born Learning material and other community resources. If there are indications that a parent should seek further evaluation for their children we will make sure that families are connected to existing community services.

Providing parents with a tool to see how their children are doing and connecting them to existing community resources are two of the major components of Help Me Grow a system that was originally implemented statewide in Connecticut and is now being replicated by a handful of other communities across the country.

Metro United Way Success By 6 was selected as one of only five replication sites for Help Me Grow. Last week also marked the visit of the Technical Assistance team from Connecticut. Many community partners came together to learn from Connecticut and to consider our own local strengths and challenges in implementing this system.

Throughout the course of the visit the TA team spoke of the many parents that they connect with through their system. They talked about the single mom who calls to ask questions about services, unsure of where to turn because she has concerns about her child’s development. They spoke about immigrant families who are trying to adjust to a new culture and do the best for their children, but don’t know how to navigate through the human services system. They spoke of countless other families that they help across their state, across income levels, of different races and ethnicities, all with the common goal of helping their children succeed.

As the team shared this information, I was repeatedly struck by how fortunate I am to have such a strong support network. I have my family and my husband’s family in town. I have an amazing group of girlfriends to talk about “mom things” with and I have a circle of professional colleagues who are experts at this child development stuff. Yet sometimes I still feel lost and lonely as I try to be the best mom that I can to Luke. How would it feel to be in the role of mother without that support? Could I even do it? I know there are lots of moms and dads out there that do, but I just can’t begin to imagine how hard it is. If natural support groups of family, friends and colleagues don’t exist for some how can we help to create and connect parents to other supports?

What kind of support networks do you have? Is it one of family and friends? Have you found support from a church group of moms or the parents on your block? Are there programs and services that you and your family use?  As we build our Help Me Grow system we will look to both formal and informal community resources for families. I know that there is a lot out there for families in this community that very much cares about children and youth.

Photo Credit: snorp

Education, Health Ages & Stages, Help Me Grow, Success By 6

by Erin McMahon

YOU are the focus of this blog.

We want to share information that YOU want and host the conversations that are important to YOU. We want LIVE UNITED Y’ALL! to be a blog about and by YOU, our community. With that goal in mind, we are excited to announce the next step in this blog’s evolution: beginning in July, we will publish posts from guest bloggers!

So far, our posts have all been written by Metro United Way staff. While we will continue to rely on our staff for their insights, observations and humor, we will also ask for volunteers, donors, folks from our agencies and other community members to contribute their unique perspectives to this blog.

This won’t be the first time I have asked for your feedback, but as we are about to debut this new feature, I found myself wondering again how we’re doing.

Are you getting what you want out of this blog? What do you love, hate, want more/less of or think we should do differently?

Please share your thoughts in the comments, and if you have an interest in sharing your voice on this blog( or know someone who might), drop me a line at erin – dot – mcmahon – @ – metrounitedway – dot – org .

Photo credit: suchitra prints

Advocacy, General Community, share your voice

It’s hard to believe that one month ago from today, I was embarking on my journey to the other side of the world (literally), and here I am, already back in my Shelbyville office resuming life as usual. When I think about everything that has happened in the last thirty days, I sort of have to pinch myself. To describe my trip would take volumes, but here’s a summary of this past month:

• Visited 3 countries (Vietnam, Thailand, and Laos…almost made it to Myanmar, but was stopped on the border.)
• Total of 9 flights (41 hours on a plane)
• 8 business visits
• 3 days hiking in the jungle
• 1 elephant ride (and fall!)
• 3 waterfalls
• Visited 4 hill tribes
• Sampled some snake whiskey (nasty!)
• 4 boat rides, plus a bamboo rafting trip
• Visited 7 palaces and temples
• Tried dozens of exotic fruits
• Countless massages
• Climbed into a cage with 2 tigers
• Ate more noodles that most people should eat in a lifetime

Needless to say, I had plenty of time for self reflection since 6 of those days I spent traveling alone. Although I consider myself somewhat of a veteran traveler, I always learn more about the world and myself each time I venture abroad. Here are some of my “lessons learned” from my most recent trip:

1. A smile is universal, and goes a long way.
2. Hospitality to friends and strangers alike is the greatest gift one can give or receive.
3. Sometimes it’s best not to know what you’re eating until after you swallow.
4. Silence is reverence.
5. Pure deet is a lifesaver!
6. Even a video camera can’t capture the essence of an experience.
7. Leave the poncho and galoshes at home…even those won’t keep you dry in a real Thai monsoon.
8. Don’t over-pack, over-think, over-buy, over-analyze, or over-plan.
9. Know how to say “thank you” in the language of whoever or wherever you’re visiting.
10. Share your experiences with those who care.

These last two lessons were the greatest to me. Perhaps the greatest survival advice I can give any future world traveler, mother, father, school teacher, 2-year-old child, business person, Metro United Way employee, mechanic, or schoolroom lunch lady is know how to say “thank you,” and say it often. Whether it’s a handshake, head nod or full bow, the act of saying “thank you” is universal. There were many times I found myself confused, lost, or in need of some help, and although it’s safe to say I rarely understood the person who was trying to help me, I quickly learned that a smile, nod, and a “kaub kun kaub” was universally appreciated and helpful in nearly every situation.

Before I left, my dad pulled out an old photo album from the year he spent stationed in Vietnam back in 1969 and 70. I remember flipping through the old black and white photographs of his barracks, the Hotel Majestic, and other Saigon sites. I sort of pushed those images to the back of my mind as I left for my own adventure because I didn’t want those images to cloud my perception of what I was about to see and experience for myself. Perhaps my greatest memory of those 16 days was when I stepped off the bus in downtown Ho Chi Minh City, held my digital camera out in front of my chest, and slowly started walking in a circle until my camera framed what I thought would be the perfect picture. About a quarter-turn to my left, I stopped and stared up at the magnificent Notre Dame Cathedral. The angle of the building in front of me and the trees in my frame looked familiar, as if I had seen this image before. I thought for a second and then remembered the old black and white picture of my dad’s. I actually lowered my camera at that moment, stared at my feet and thought to myself, “Wow, Dad stood in this exact spot 40 years ago, looked up at that same building framed the same shot with his camera, and probably thought the same thoughts I am right now.” Although my dad was thousands of miles away at that moment, and the memory we shared was 40 years apart, this was really the greatest experience I’ve ever shared with my father.

General thank you, thanks, travel

Education is an essential building block that leads to a better life for all and is key to improving our community. In an effort to improve the quality of education in our community, Metro United Way and Success by 6 unveiled two new tools at a press conference this morning.

The first is the Common Good Forecaster. It allows people to look up any county in the U.S., shows them the current education levels for that county and state. Using a sliding scale, the Common Good Forecaster also shows the direct correlation between increased levels of educational achievement and improvement in that community.

The second tool is the Ages and Stages Questionnaire, a part of the Help Me Grow initiative. The questionnaires are age appropriate surveys that a parent/guardian can fill out concerning their child and send back to Metro United Way to be scored. This questionnaire allows you to see how your child is developing and if they are on track for all the major milestones they need to accomplish in their childhood. To request your Ages and Stages Questionnaire, please visit the Metro United Way website or call 502-292-6211.

Education, Events, General Ages and Stages, Common Good Forecaster, Help Me Grow, Metro United Way, Success By 6

By Kerri Cokeley

Twice in the past month I have been asked to share the things I do to relax. RELAX?!? I’m already RELAXED, can’t you tell? Do you think I need to relax???

Then I take a few seconds to group my thoughts, and a few more seconds, then I think:

1. Eat (wow, that’s not a healthy answer)
2. Go to the gym (lie, big fat lie)
3. Drink (eek, that could get me into trouble)

I suddenly had the realization that I don’t have good answers for that question. How embarrassing! How could I go through thirty years of life and not know this about myself? I know this is an important aspect for a balanced, healthy life – so I’m going to change it.

Now I’m on a mission to discover three things I can do to relax and rejuvenate within this hectic life I live. I know several of our readers probably have a similar lifestyle. Are you able to name three things for yourself? And how do you fit them into the already crammed calendar?

What suggestions do you have for me?

Thanks in advance for your feedback!

Photo by: surfzone™

General, Health healthy lifestyle, relax

The Marketing Department is hard at work creating fundraising materials for our upcoming campaign. Part of my job as the Marketing & Communications Coordinator is gathering stories of people who have been touched by Metro United Way agencies and initiatives.  Here at Metro United Way, we call them “success stories,” and every time I have the privilege of hearing a success story, I am astounded and amazed.

There are so many stories, in every shape and size, that tell of tragedy to triumph. While everyone has their own unique story, I am beginning to see a theme emerge – the majority of people I have spoken with expressed that they “never thought it would happen to me.” Story after story, I heard people say that they donated to Metro United Way, or volunteered for Metro United Way, but never thought that they would need Metro United Way.

Did you know that two out of every three people in our community will use a Metro United Way-funded service in our lifetime? I have two sisters, so between the three of us, one will probably need assistance from Metro United Way at some point. When I fill out my pledge card, I think of each of them – and want Metro United Way services to be here in her time of need. I want to make sure that she is a success story.

I also fill out my pledge card in honor of you – should you ever need Metro United Way-funded services, I want you to be a success story too! Do you already have a success story to share? I’d love to talk to you-call 583-2821 and ask for Kate. I look forward to hearing from you!

P.S-I cannot wait to share our success stories with you-they are incredible! Sign up to receive our monthly e-newsletter, LIVE UNITED Online, to be the among the first to read them!

General Common good, Community, Live United, passion