You want my advice?
By Cori Gadansky
Unsolicited advice – we’ve all gotten it and perhaps we’ve all given it. I have noticed that as a parent, I get a lot more of it than I did before. Now, I’m not saying that I know everything. And I’m not saying that I don’t seek out advice as a parent. I’ve mentioned in previous posts how fortunate I have been to have so many friends, family and experts to go to about issues that come up with my son. But that’s the difference – when you ask for it and when you are just going along minding your own business and someone feels compelled to share their brilliant insight with you.
For example, Luke is not exactly a small child. (He weighed over nine pounds at birth.) He’s tall and he’s solid, and he is three. So, I still pick him up and hold him sometimes. The cook at his child care center never fails to tell me that “he’s so big he should be holding you.” Of course, almost any time she ever sees us together is at drop off time – when he sometimes takes a minute or two to say good-bye to me, or at pick up time – when he is excited to see me. It’s not like I walk around the house holding him, or I try to squeeze him into a Baby Bjorn. I pick him up the same way that many people I know pick up their three-year-olds – to comfort, cuddle, and love. So, although he may look like he is about to start kindergarten, he really is still at an age where (I think) he needs to be held, comforted and protected from this world that he is still trying to figure out. Of course, I know that the cook at his school is completely well-intentioned. He weighs over 40 pounds. In fact, one of these days my back might let me know that Luke really is too big for me to hold. But I never asked for her opinion.
I think there is a lesson to be learned from this related to the work that I do. Success By 6 has a lot of parent education resources that are available to anyone who wants them. I just need to be intentional and thoughtful about the distribution of these materials, because I know first-hand that receiving advice when you never asked for it really isn’t all that helpful. On the other hand, I know that receiving advice and information when you are hungry for it is extremely valuable.
When have you gotten advice that you didn’t want? When have you been in need of information about your children? Did you get what you were looking for?
Photo Credit: purpleslog
This is so right on, Corri. Thanks for putting it so well and with such a sweet story. H.