LIVE UNITED Y’All!

By Kerri Cokeley

This past January, my Grandmammy passed away. This was a hard time for me. I had spent the previous ten years helping care for her, and though her health was not the best, her death was quite sudden. As I sat at the funeral home preparing the arrangements the following day, I realized that I was so thankful that I had no regrets. I cared for her the best that I could, I learned as much as I could from her, and every time we saw each other we expressed our love for one another.

The feelings that have sunk in for me following her departure mostly relate to the recognition that I have lost all four of my blood grandparents. A whole generation is now gone from my family. Am I prepared to help fill this void?

Just as I finally start to come to the conclusion that, yes, I am ready and able to step up, I get hit with another blow. A text message came with the news that Helen, a second mother to me as a teenager, had passed away. How can this be? I’m just barely able to step up to the loss of my grandparents, I’m definitely not ready to start losing the next tier, my parents.

I expect that it will take a very long time for me to cope with and be ready to fill the void that will ultimately be left by the loss of the immediate next generation. However, it takes me to a new reflection. When I am gone, what will I have accomplished? I’ve thought about this many times before, but not in such a desperate, mortal kind of way.

Even several days later as I re-read Helen’s obituary, my eyes swell up at the third paragraph. Despite the unfortunate health situation that had plagued her for many years, she still found a way to make the world a little better than she found it. I hope that I can do the same. Don’t you?

Helen Frances Graber

POSTED: August 18, 2009

Helen Frances Graber, 49, of Matlacha, FL died at her residence on Aug. 14, 2009 after battling 20 years of illness and pain.

She was born to William G. and Kathleen F. (Preston) Graber on Feb. 2, 1960 in Louisville, KY. Helen moved to Matlacha in 2003 to be close to her only child and her grandchildren.

She was formerly from Clarksville, IN. where she spent many years working as an LPN caring for others. Her caring did not stop with her work, she was known for her open heart and open door policy. Many times she provided a needed refuge for countless teenagers that had nowhere else to go and no one else that cared. She made sure all had a warm place to stay, food to eat and most of all someone who cared.

She is survived by her daughter, Michelle Lynne Scalf, son-in-law, Stephen S. Scalf, grandchildren, Ashlynne Jade Scalf and Stephen Sebastian Scalf, of Bokellia. Other survivors include brothers, Norman D. Graber of Tuscon, AZ. and George P. Graber of Matlacha and a sister, Patricia L. Murphy also of Matlacha. She was preceded in death by both parents and a brother, Billy (Apple) Graber who died in 1979.

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