It’s not about you
My son is getting married December 5, 2009. We’re thrilled. He finished college, got a good job, dated her a while, you know did things in my preferred order. They’ve had the serious preacher talk about whether they are a match. Hmm, I’d be interested to hear long-term numbers on how successful those pre-marriage consults are (I guess my career in tracking outcomes bleeds over into my personal life sometimes).
Anyway, about me. Yesterday was the mom-dress shopping day. I invited my fashion savvy friend, Debbie and my “are you really wearing that?” daughter Brianne. I had the typical mom attitude. I want a dress that is sexy but not skanky, trendy while also classic but not “mom-dress” frumpy. Kind of like the millions of women that walk into the hair dresser and want the sassy, fun, no maintenance, young haircut or the single women out there still looking for the sensitive, open, bathroom cleaning, handy, macho and hunky dream man. We dream of the impossible and then set out to find it.
We had a great afternoon shopping. We did the big four of department stores; Dillard’s, Macy, Von Maur, Penney’s. We stayed on task, rarely wandering into the clearance areas of other departments, that was quite a feat right there.
We were down to the top three dresses all at Dillard’s. One dress was eliminated because of funny zipper bump; one was dismissed because of spaghetti straps leaving the remaining “winning” dress. It looked good on, won’t need alterations, easily accessorized. I gleefully bought it, checking one large item off my wedding prep list.
So why, why, why did I lay in bed last night second guessing my choice? I told myself, “face it Jan it doesn’t get any better. You saw your choices, you made a sound decision, you purchased, the wedding is seven weeks off – go with it.”
I recognize the big day is not about me and 5 years from now no one is going to remember what I wore, not even me. It is great to have such a support system and tools to make sound decisions, whether I second guess them or not.
Think about all the folks in our community that don’t have those tools or close relationships to help with all the decisions in life. You could share your wealth - by giving time to be a mentor or advocate for others. There are an endless number of places like Big Brothers Big Sisters, CASA, YMCA DIAMONDs program, 3-2-1 Read in Clark County elementaries or Study Buddies in Floyd County, neighborhood churches, scouting, ball leagues – they would all love for you to give them a call to explore how you can help youth make wise decisions and know others care about them. Five years from now they will remember you and how generous you were.
