10 Reasons To Be a Better Role Model
By Kerri Cokeley
In my work with the youth in our community, one thing is staggeringly clear: the majority of adults are not good role models in the eyes of our young people. In a recent survey of Southern Indiana high-schoolers, only 19% of students report having parents and other adults in their life that model positive, responsible behavior.
At Metro United Way, we are working with students to learn more about what they expect of us, their elders (among many other things we are learning.) In the meantime, I think there are some obvious issues that could be addressed. Here is my list of reasons for adults to be better role models, inspired by what I have learned from listening to young people and from observing the behaviors of some adults I know.
*When reading this please remember, I am not a psychologist, a sociologist, a child development specialist, a parent, nor a perfect person for that matter. I am simply a person that experienced a challenging childhood and tries to be empathetic and helpful for the younger generation.
10 Reasons To Be a Better Role Model
10. We are imperfect people. We need to acknowledge that and be more aware of our actions and words.
9. Children start their lives respecting adults; let’s be deserving of that respect.
8. Young people are capable of achieving great things. They want adults to encourage them to do well and hold them accountable when they should be doing better.
7. Research has shown that children have higher success rates as adults when they have 5 caring adults in their life outside of their parents during childhood. Do you have young people in your life that you should be more “present” for?
6. Communication is one of the biggest areas of concern for Southern Indiana high school students. In fact, they say that adults communicate expectations, but then don’t follow up with the results. (In a way, kids are telling us they wish parents would ground them when they break the rules and that schools would dole out punishment more consistently.)
5. The majority of youth report that they don’t have adults in their life who consistently engage them in good conversation, listen to them, and care about their concerns. I know there are times when a child’s opinion isn’t relevant to a decision, but they do deserve to have their thoughts and feelings acknowledged.
4. We need to quit saying one thing and then doing another. Children catch on to this, and it sends a very confusing message on how to act and make decisions.
3. Playing together is a great way to build caring relationships with young children in your life. As that child grows, they will think of you as someone who enjoys time with them and will be more likely to come to you for advice when they are faced with tough situations.
2. Let’s be honest with young people. When appropriate, it is good to share mistakes you have made in the past. We don’t have to give every gory detail, but to share our missteps, the repercussions, and ways that we could have handled the situation better provides information that can help them become better decision makers.
1. In all the student survey results we have collected, we see things that are shocking and sadly true. But one stat that gives us great hope is that the majority of students report having a positive view of their future. I believe we owe it to the next generation to help them turn this positive view into the best future possible.
In closing, I can’t imagine a more meaningful contribution I can make for the future of our community than being a person that helps young people reach their fullest potential. We all interact with young people in some way- some of us more than others. As adults, we shape these interactions, and I think we can do better! Don’t you?
