LIVE UNITED Y’All!

By David Caldwell

I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I always figured that if you really want to make a change in your life you should just do it – don’t wait for a “special” day to make it happen. That changed for me last year.

Since college I’ve been a non-smoker…sort of. I’ve always been that guy who might have a pack of cigarettes in his truck while he tells you he doesn’t smoke. I know how horrible the habit is for your health – I saw the black lung in science class too. I know how addictive the practice is – my dad smoked for 30 plus years. None of that ever stopped me from “kinda” smoking. I justified it to myself because I wasn’t a “real” smoker. I just smoked when I drank, or was really stressed, or it was Tuesday – you know, just a little. I was the familiar stranger in the smokers’ circle.

As the ball drops this year, I’ll be kissing my sweetheart with smoke-free breath, and celebrating 365 days without a cigarette. My goal is a lot more years of the same, but for now I’ll celebrate the first one.

So what are you resolving to do this year? If you haven’t quite decided, let me make a suggestion. Make a resolution to make a difference in the life of a child.

You could donate some books to the child care center down the street. You could volunteer to teach an art activity at your child’s school. You could find a way to be a role model for the kids across town and across the street that need a few more caring adults in their lives. You could write a check to your favorite child focused agency. You could call your legislator and tell them to make children more of a priority when they make decisions.

Think about all you’ll have to celebrate after a year of working to improve the life of a child. If you want to give, advocate, or volunteer, you can visit our website. If you want a few more ideas or some help in making your resolution a reality, let me know. Have a wonderful holiday, and ring in the New Year in a meaningful way!

Photo Credit: maxxtraffic

Advocacy, Giving, Volunteering Children, Live United, making a difference, opportunity, Volunteer

I recently helped my daughter move back into the dorm for her third year of college.  As we loaded up the truck with her belongings early in the morning, the next door neighbors were all waiting anxiously on the front porch for the school bus to come.  It seemed it was not only my daughter’s first day back for the semester, but also the first day of preschool for the four year old next door. 

As I watched one of the cutest little boys I have ever met excitedly climb aboard for his first day of ‘big school’, as he calls it, with the whole family there to cheer him on and wave goodbye, I couldn’t help but think back to when that was me tearing up as my own daughter went off to face the world without me.

I thought about the first day of child care, how I was a mess and she was fine, and how on the first day of kindergarten, my tiny little five year old climbed aboard the school bus without even looking back.  She was fine.  I was not.  In thinking back, I realized that I was always the one who was not ok.  She was always fearless and charging forward.

I thought about the slumber parties growing up, overnight field trips in elementary and middle school to Gatlinburg and Space Camp in Alabama, long hours at band competitions and week long trips out of state to perform in high school.  I thought about moving her into the dorm for the first time and the panic attack I had when she called to say she was going to the Bahamas to stay on a sail boat for a week and scuba dive the reefs as part of her last short term class.  Again, she was always excited and ready to embark on a new adventure.  I was the one having a hard time letting go. 

Then I realized.  That’s my job.  It is my job to do my best to prepare her and then to let go.  I will always worry and I will always be there just in case, but I know in my heart she will flourish.  It is hard, very hard sometimes, but it is my job and I will always find a way to let go so she can fly.  I know there will be more times when I will need to let go in the future and they will always be difficult, but they will also be worth the reward as I see her succeed.  I will be the best parent I can be.  I will let go.

General Children, parenting

By David Caldwell

Think back to when you started kindergarten. If you didn’t go to kindergarten just think back to when you were a little kid. If you’re my dad, find someone who remembers when you were a little kid and ask them to remind you.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a paleontologist. I thought dinosaurs were the coolest things ever, and I wanted to dig up their bones. Over the years, my career aspirations have changed, but my desire to be something awesome has not. (I still think dinosaurs are just about the coolest things ever by the way.)

This year in Kentuckiana about 12,000 kids will begin kindergarten. How do you think they would answer that question? Probably the same way we did. Astronaut. Teacher. Fire Fighter. Rock Star. Doctor. President.

I bet that none of them said they wanted to be a drug dealer, or a prostitute, or living on the streets, or in jail. The reality is that some of them will end up in those situations and many more that we all would consider equally as horrible.

We can change that. We can turn those horrible realities into wonderful possibilities. We can give children hope. We can make them believe in themselves. We can give them the tools they need to be successful.

How? That’s what Metro United Way Success By 6 is working on. Our goal is that by 2018, all children will enter kindergarten prepared to be successful in school and life.

We need your help. What ideas do you have? What are you willing to work on? What support do you need? Let us know. Visit the website, give me a call (502-292-6157). Let’s make this happen – together!!!

Photo Credit: boynumber1

Advocacy, Education Children, make change, making a difference, Success By 6

I recently found myself sitting with the question, “what I have I really done to make a difference for kids lately?” I work for a non-profit agency. I direct an early childhood initiative. In theory, I do things everyday that help make the world a better place, but what have I REALLY done lately?

Just as I was getting really down on myself, I saw a thank you note from a preschool class that I have hanging on my office wall. It thanks me for reading to them. I remembered that experience, and it made me smile. The most important thing it did was remind me that it is the small things we do for individuals that probably makes the most difference.

Last week I volunteered to accompany a dozen 12 and 13 year-olds on a field trip to the pool. It seemed like an easy gig; go the pool, play around, eat a grilled cheese sandwich. The next morning my neck revealed to me that maybe it wasn’t such a relaxing time. Apparently the hours of “Let’s dunk that tall guy” (the official name of the game) that I played took a little bit of a toll.

The week before that, my friend Charles took his nephew and crew to Cedar Point for the day. Again, it seemed like another excuse to have fun, ride a few roller coasters, eat some funnel cake, and take a few funny pictures…no problem. I think he slept for 24 hours straight when he got back.

What’s the point of these stories? Well, I think that Charles and I have the same goals in mind – we want these young people to know that they have people in their lives who care about them…people who are willing to sacrifice their time (and bodies) to do what they want to do.  We know that’s one of the things kids need.

So I have done something to make a difference lately. What have you done lately to make a difference? Here are 150 ways to show kids you care. I challenge you to pick something off the list. Find a young person, and make it happen (make sure get their parent or guardian’s permission).

Tell me about your experience. Let’s share the stories so we all feel good. What other ideas do you have to make a difference for young people?

Photo credit: Gary Simmons

Advocacy, General Children, Common good, Community, Live United, making a difference, youth

It takes a village to raise a child.  This old adage holds a wealth of truth.  None of us can stand alone.  We are all dependent on each other and the responsibility to ensure that our children live happy, healthy lives belongs to all of us.  It is our responsibility to make sure this next generation succeeds.

In these trying economic times, community isn’t always what it is supposed to be. We’d all like to think we live in a place where people care about others, where people pitch in to help when things get rough and where it’s safe to leave the doors unlocked and let the kids play outside.  This is what our parents wanted for us and what we want for our children, but is it really what we have?  We can make the change for our future and for our children.

Living in a good neighborhood has nothing to do with the price you paid for your home or the amount of your monthly rent.  Living in a good neighborhood depends on the support system that exists within the neighborhood.  We need to look at the way we treat each other and the children who surround us.  We need to take the responsibility of truly being a good neighbor and looking out for one another.  Every child should have a caring adult in their lives. That person is not always a parent or family member.  Sometimes it is a friend or neighbor.

During the Great Depression of the 1930s, there was plenty of poverty and misery.  People had lots of reasons to feel sorry for themselves, but people connected with each other during that time. They had family and friends around them.  People helped each other out, not only with physical needs like food, clothing and shelter, but also with spiritual and emotional needs.  They looked out for each other and they banded together to make it through.

We are in a rough patch again.  While no where near the magnitude of the Great Depression, still we all seem to be affected by this latest downturn in the economy.  With the housing and financial crises and ever increasing unemployment, it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves.  What we need to be doing is looking outward, reaching out a helping hand to our neighbors and ensuring our children live happy, healthy lives in a good neighborhood.  Life is a lot easier when you are part of a network of friends and family, a community, a neighborhood.

It takes a village to work with the family, to raise our children and weather the trying times.  If we want that kind of support, the place to begin is with ourselves, in our own neighborhoods.  Community, like charity, begins at home.  You start building a good neighborhood when you decide that you will be a good neighbor.  If you don’t know anyone on your block, you can always introduce yourself.  Host a gathering in your back yard.  Wave to your neighbors and stop to say hi at the curb.

There are many things that we don’t have much control over. But building a good neighborhood is something that you can do, right now, in the place where you live now.  You can reach out and touch your neighbor and find a new sense of purpose and life on your street. Make your neighborhood your village and ensure that our children will thrive.  Understand the truth that America was founded on, united we stand, divided we fall.  LIVE UNITED.

What do you think we need to do?  What are you doing in your neighborhood?

Photo credit: Samuel_Leo

General Children, Community, Live United, making a difference, Neighborhoods

Success By 6 offers parent workshops in partnership with a few local hospitals. This effort recently expanded to include monthly workshops at Norton Suburban. I decided to attend the first workshop to make sure everything ran smoothly and because I was interested in the topic. Dr. Jeanette Nunnelley presented her workshop, “Powerful, Practical Practices in Behavior Guidance.” I generally think that I do a pretty good job in the positive discipline arena, but I thought that I should see how I compare to the advice of an expert.

I was pleased that so many of the strategies that she described were ones that I already use with Luke. Here are a few of them:

• Ignore inappropriate behavior and/or redirect. If what he’s doing isn’t going to hurt him and it is just annoying me I try to walk away. And if he is not making the best choice, it is easy to “trick” him into focusing his attention on something else.
• Catch your child being good. When he uses good manners or is sweet to another person I praise him and tell him how proud I am of the behavior I want to see more of.
• Use simple preventative measures. No one likes to be rushed. In our frantic family one of the most valuable strategies that we use is to give five minute warnings (followed by a countdown of minutes) when it is nearing time to move to our next activity.

Of course, I have had the opportunity to sit in on countless early childhood training sessions when I worked in the child care field, and I have real-life experience with lots of other people’s children who I have cared for. So, I should already know these techniques. The part that pleases me the most is that I almost always put them into practice. Don’t get me wrong, everyone loses their patience sometimes. I know that I have fussed at him in a less than appropriate way on at least a couple of occasions.

I can think of one bedtime in particular. We had gotten all set: all clean from bath, pajamas on, lots of books thrown into the bed waiting to be read, and goodnight kisses for Daddy. In my mind we were all set for a typical bedtime. Apparently Luke had other things in mind. He kept getting out of bed to go get stuff telling me, “I be right back.” He would come back, get back into bed, think of something else and jump out of the bed again. I probably ignored this behavior for a little too long because I finally had enough and told him in a raised voice that if he didn’t get into that bed then we weren’t reading any books at all and I was leaving the room. My overly-sensitive child cried. He hung his head and wouldn’t look at me. He finally said, “I’m mad.” I felt bad about hurting his feelings, but I was impressed with his ability to name his feeling. We snuggled and read books after that, but it still wasn’t an exchange that I felt good about.

The biggest take-away for me from Dr. Nunnelley’s workshop was her reminder to be an appropriate role model for your child. This is actually something that I am trying to be intentional about in everything that I do: Be the change that you want to see. So, of course it makes sense for me to be the kind of person that I want my son to be.

What works with your child?  When have you been frustrated?

photo credit:  brungrrl

Education Children, early childhood, parent workshops, parenting, Success By 6

Nothing weighs on my heart more than when I go about my daily life and come in the path of adults who are negligent or abusive to children. I feel like I encounter this too often. From when I shop, go to the grocery or even sometimes just outside my office window on Broadway as I am working and I can hear people as they wait for a bus.

Wherever life is, too often my ears hear an adult who has met the end of the rope and is berating, threatening or diminishing a child. Our future.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not referring to normal, healthy, loving correction. It’s the situations where tired, crying children are being ridiculed, threatened, and in some cases what I consider assaulted by an adult who is clearly at the end of their rope. I have seen this, and heard this while passerbys seem to tune out the tragedy or just not get involved. 

As our community and our neighbors face unprecedented challenges, daily stress and tensions rise. It is our children that are going to have to bear the costly burden of our solutions, bail outs and mistakes. I hope they are able. 

I had this poem on my bedroom wall as a little girl and I read it often. It reinforces for me that children are born learning.

Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt.

BUT

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

Find your voice. Open your heart. Reach out a hand to one and influence the condition of all.  Metro United Way provides an efficient, easy path to create change, get help, give help, and make an impact for children, adults and our community. And it isn’t just good for the people that are helped. It’s good for you, your family, your company and our community. Wouldn’t you agree that we all win when children succeed, when families are financially stable and when people have good health? We believe it takes everyone in our community working together to create a brighter future. Will you join the Live United movement?

Now more than ever you will find hundreds of rewarding volunteer opportunities and see how easily Metro United Way can connect individuals and groups. If you have a passion for the aging, children, people with disabilities, the homeless, youth, domestic violence, disaster relief, substance abuse, housing, hunger, or education … there’s a way to help make a difference and get started on creating that better tomorrow! United, we can make a difference.

Bring on the sunshine and bring on Spring!

Advocacy, Education, General, Volunteering Born Learning, Children, Community, Live United, Metro United Way

My dear little nephew turns six years old next week.  When I look at him, I see a generous, curious, amazing little man.  I can’t help but be so hopeful about the future he will grow into.  If I could grant three wishes as he blows out the sparkly candles on that chocolate birthday cake, they would be for him to:

1. Maintain that beautiful, innocent spirit over time as he is exposed to the world.
2. Learn right from wrong and have the courage to stand up for what he believes.
3. Experience wholesome love and return it selflessly.

What do you wish for the little ones in your life?

Photo credit: massdistraction

General Children, Success By 6