LIVE UNITED Y’All!

If there is one thing that working with Success By 6 has confirmed for me it is to instill a love of reading in my child. We read everyday at our house. In fact, Luke has made up a new game to play called “naptime.” He tells his dad and me to “go take your nap.” He tucks us into his bed, reads us a story, gives us our kisses, says goodnight and closes the door to his room. My husband actually finds this to be a very cruel game, because just as we are feeling nice and relaxed, Luke will burst into the room, turn on the lights and loudly say, “Time to wake up!” My favorite part of naptime is when Luke reads our bedtime story. He usually chooses one of his favorite books. So, he knows most of the words or uses the pictures to make up what is happening in the story. I think that it is very cool that reading a story has to be a part of “naptime.”

Luke has many favorite books, including the Clifford the Big Red Dog series. One of the reasons that he loves Clifford books so much is that there are pictures of the covers of other Clifford books on the back of each book. He likes to go through all of the pictures and find the pictures of the books that he has in his collection. Sometimes, this can lead to reading six books in a row, but I don’t mind. My bigger issue is that I can’t walk into a book store without checking out which Clifford books they have. I am constantly trying to find as many of the books featured on the back of the covers that I can. In fact, this morning I ordered a set of six Clifford books– three that we already have – from the Scholastic book order that came home from school just so I could add to Luke’s Clifford collection.

As I placed my order this morning, I thought about all of the children who do not have fifteen Clifford books in their collections or entire bookcases full of beautiful children’s books. It made me sad. But I couldn’t be sad for too long because my next thought was of the boxes and boxes of books that we just received from the Borders book drive.

This summer, for the third year in a row, Borders provided its customers with the opportunity to give a book to a young child who may not otherwise have one. And again this year, I was overwhelmed by the generosity of our community.  When I spoke with my Borders contacts about halfway through the drive they told me that it seemed like the donations were going to be down this year because of the economy. We have not yet sorted and counted the books to know for sure how many books there are, but by the looks of the boxes stacked in our basement, our community once again showed its caring power and gave even if it hurt. There will be hundreds and hundreds of small children who will receive a book to take home. I wonder if any of them will tell their mommies and daddies that it is time for a nap, read them a book and put them to bed.

Education, Giving Borders, early childhood, reading, Success By 6

Success By 6 offers parent workshops in partnership with a few local hospitals. This effort recently expanded to include monthly workshops at Norton Suburban. I decided to attend the first workshop to make sure everything ran smoothly and because I was interested in the topic. Dr. Jeanette Nunnelley presented her workshop, “Powerful, Practical Practices in Behavior Guidance.” I generally think that I do a pretty good job in the positive discipline arena, but I thought that I should see how I compare to the advice of an expert.

I was pleased that so many of the strategies that she described were ones that I already use with Luke. Here are a few of them:

• Ignore inappropriate behavior and/or redirect. If what he’s doing isn’t going to hurt him and it is just annoying me I try to walk away. And if he is not making the best choice, it is easy to “trick” him into focusing his attention on something else.
• Catch your child being good. When he uses good manners or is sweet to another person I praise him and tell him how proud I am of the behavior I want to see more of.
• Use simple preventative measures. No one likes to be rushed. In our frantic family one of the most valuable strategies that we use is to give five minute warnings (followed by a countdown of minutes) when it is nearing time to move to our next activity.

Of course, I have had the opportunity to sit in on countless early childhood training sessions when I worked in the child care field, and I have real-life experience with lots of other people’s children who I have cared for. So, I should already know these techniques. The part that pleases me the most is that I almost always put them into practice. Don’t get me wrong, everyone loses their patience sometimes. I know that I have fussed at him in a less than appropriate way on at least a couple of occasions.

I can think of one bedtime in particular. We had gotten all set: all clean from bath, pajamas on, lots of books thrown into the bed waiting to be read, and goodnight kisses for Daddy. In my mind we were all set for a typical bedtime. Apparently Luke had other things in mind. He kept getting out of bed to go get stuff telling me, “I be right back.” He would come back, get back into bed, think of something else and jump out of the bed again. I probably ignored this behavior for a little too long because I finally had enough and told him in a raised voice that if he didn’t get into that bed then we weren’t reading any books at all and I was leaving the room. My overly-sensitive child cried. He hung his head and wouldn’t look at me. He finally said, “I’m mad.” I felt bad about hurting his feelings, but I was impressed with his ability to name his feeling. We snuggled and read books after that, but it still wasn’t an exchange that I felt good about.

The biggest take-away for me from Dr. Nunnelley’s workshop was her reminder to be an appropriate role model for your child. This is actually something that I am trying to be intentional about in everything that I do: Be the change that you want to see. So, of course it makes sense for me to be the kind of person that I want my son to be.

What works with your child?  When have you been frustrated?

photo credit:  brungrrl

Education Children, early childhood, parent workshops, parenting, Success By 6

Sing, Dance, Play. This is one of the key messages of the Success By 6 Born Learning campaign, and is something we practice with great passion in my home. Like most young children, Luke loves music. And why wouldn’t he? His daddy is a musician, and his mommy…well, mommy loves to sing it and shake it on the dance floor with Luke to the smooth sounds of Children’s Programming on KET.

We do our fair share of the classic children’s songs: “The Wheels on the Bus,” “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” etc. Honestly, is there anything cuter than chubby little sausage fingers acting out the spider climbing up the waterspout or twinkling like a star? Of course there isn’t!

Our absolute favorite family sing, dance and play activity is a full-on jam session. Like a producer or record executive, Luke controls who gets what instrument, who sits where, what the arrangement should sound like, and when we get breaks. Daddy gets the “big guitar,” which is only fitting since daddy has had that guitar since he was all of 12 years old. Luke mans the small guitar and child-sized microphone. Mommy, reduced to a groupie, plays the triangle or tambourine. Producers know where the talent lies.

Then we jam. Daddy knows Luke wants to play The Grateful Dead’s “Bertha” first, a good bouncy tune to “warm up,” so we start with that and move into other genres and styles as the jam progresses.  Luke strums his guitar, sings with the chorus, and dances around like a miniature rock star. He will often remind the rest of us that he is indeed a rock star, shouting “Rock Star!” in the middle of a verse with no provocation, no request to do so. He just wants it known that it is so. When the song comes to an end, Luke will take a bow and say “thank you!” as if he has proudly satisfied the rock needs of thousand of fans at Madison Square Garden on New Years’ Eve. And like some concerts, this can go on for hours. Like a little Jackson Browne, Luke just wants to play a little bit longer.

Sing, Dance, Play. These are the joys of being a parent. It is imperative to share these moments with young children, and a great way to let go of stress in our adult lives.

Are you a parent? Is your child a “Rock Star?” Do you sing, dance and play? I’d love to hear about what you do at your home. Maybe we’ll use it in our next concert.

Education, General Born Learning, early childhood, Success By 6, young children

What can we do to better support parents as they embark on the tough journey of raising children?  As our economic conditions put more immediate pressure on families, what are we doing to make sure parents are able to support their child’s future?

These are the types of questions that have come up for me lately in my work in Success By 6.  I have also starting reading a couple of early childhood blogs that converged on this topic last week.  Christina writes a blog aimed at the parents of her kindergarten students to engage them in what goes on in her classroom (her interest is using tech in the classroom is very cool).  There was a link on this early childhood blog to a story about the anxieties British children face as a consequence of their parents’ stress.

These connections reinforce the idea that our community needs to do more to support and encourage parents.  How can we make it easier for teachers and caregivers to talk with parents about what happens with their child during the day?  How do make sure that the stresses facing our adults don’t affect our children’s mental health?

Are you a parent?  What support do you need?  What can groups like Metro United Way Success By 6 do?  How can we work together to ensure the success of our children?

Photo credit:  assbach

Education Community, early childhood, parenting, Success By 6

I began working in the early childhood field over a decade ago. Six years ago I came to Metro United Way and began my work with Success By 6. Throughout my career I have worked to support parents and caregivers in their roles in the lives of young children. Often times this meant providing “parent tips,” training, and advice to parents and child care providers.

Nearly three years ago, my son Luke was born, and I knew I was going to have to see if I could practice what I had preached. Would I be able to implement all of those “simple strategies” I’d suggested to others? Would I do some of the things that I had advised against? When it came down to it would I live up to my own expectations of what a parent should be?

Anyone who is a parent - or even knows a parent - understands that parenting is no simple job. In fact, it is the most important job that we will ever have, and it is a 24/7 kind of deal. So, there are many things that I was worried about how I would handle in my new role as “mommy.” Honestly, I can remember being extremely nervous about caring for the little umbilical cord stump and cutting his nails. I have no idea why these two things caused me such anxiety. Looking back neither was really a big deal at all, but I did learn that new parents worry about every little thing, and I was no exception – despite my years in the field. In thinking about the “big picture stuff,” I was concerned about healthy eating habits, sleep issues, maintaining a routine, instilling strong family values, and making sure that this little person was loved and nurtured – among others.

Early literacy skills and nurturing through reading have been strong focuses of Success By 6. In the months before Luke was born, I would sit in his nursery and read to my gigantic belly. Certainly, reading to my child everyday would be something I would do. Right? Over two and a half years later, my answer to this question is that we do read together everyday, for the most part, and like so many others it is a big part of our bedtime routine. However, it hasn’t always been quite as easy as I thought, and there are days when it can be more of a chore than a fun, nurturing experience.

For instance, when Luke was about one he was so busy trying to turn the pages himself that we didn’t always get to actually read the books. For an avid reader like myself, this was kind of annoying, despite the fact that it was absolutely age-appropriate. Currently, we are in the phase of reading and re-reading the same books over and over again. I have secretly thought about hiding Elmo’s Big Lift and Look Book so that I can get a break from it. He also has figured out that I think reading is very important. He uses this against me to put off going to sleep. He is certain that he can say, “One more book, Mommy” over and over to keep me in his room for as long as possible before I turn the lights off.

However, as all parents know, the joy that our children bring us far outweighs the fact that parenting is a hard job. There really isn’t anything I enjoy as much as laying in his bed at night curled up under the covers with his favorite books. He loves being read to and he is beginning to love to “read” his books to me. When he “reads” to me the inflection in his voice is modeled after how I read to him. His imitation of me in this particular way provides me with a great sense of pride and accomplishment.

Reading to Luke daily has been a confirmation to me that it is a vitally important component of what our youngest children need. It has shown me that although I am well-versed on this subject that I am always looking for new ways to do it better. And I have found that it is as much about providing that safe, nurturing experience as it is about setting the foundation for learning to read.

In the coming weeks, I will continue to explore other aspects of my personal Success By 6 experiment through these blog posts. I would welcome comments from others about your experiences with young children.

Education early childhood, parenting, reading, Success By 6