Go Ahead and Speak Up
By Jan Sherrell
I’m not a big talker. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve usually got an opinion and am ready to offer it up, but in the grand scheme of things I can be very succinct when I speak. Okay, some might call it curt. I think I learned it from my dad. Dad was very direct, not a lot of chat, and to the point. Hurt my feelings a lot of times now that I mention it, but that is another topic.
I’m working on getting a little chattier, to listen better and encourage others to voice their opinions. But still, sometimes when the phone rings, I’m tempted to let the machine get it. Maybe the caller can just leave me a message and I can save that 10 minutes of my life for peace and quiet.
Maybe I over think things – especially for the more difficult conversations. Do you ever rehearse the conversations in your head? You’ve got the perfect script all worked out and when the moment arises for you to have that conversation it ends up with a muttered, “um I’m here if you need me, you know…if you ever do” or “um, I thought you were going to call me…..I waited for you….” Yep, I told them didn’t I?
I recently had some tough work conversations. I literally wrote down my thoughts and ordered them logically. It helped me make sure I covered what I needed to and helped me think through my word choices. Knowing my “to the point” nature it also allowed me to make sure I fully fleshed out my thoughts. The conversation went well. I felt better after addressing that tough conversation.
You know sometimes just showing the effort, making a pitch, be it inadequate or not, the attempt was made to open that conversation. Go ahead and take that phone call and use the “oh, the pizza guy is here, I have to go” line if the conversation runs too long. Extend a hand to someone even when you don’t exactly know what to say. Begin those difficult conversations, you can always go back and use your practiced speech the next time if the first time doesn’t work out.
Humans need that interaction. Offer a smile to a neighbor or coworker or youth and sharpen your social skills with some friendly small talk. Or really get your nerve up and broach the subject that has been on your mind, but do it kindly with good intentions, you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
What is your way of dealing with tough conversations? How’s that working for you?

