LIVE UNITED Y’All!

Mary Ann Steutermann

Growing up, I was lucky to have parents and other family members interested in how I was doing in school and very supportive of my progress. Mom would give me snack when I got home from school, tell me to turn off the TV so I could get my homework done, and would check on how I did when I said I was finished. Dad was a big help with geometry and science by helping me come up with ideas for the science fair or making me practice geometric proofs even when I didn’t want to. I also had a special aunt that I go could to for support when I had personal problems that I didn’t want to talk to my parents about. Unfortunately though, not every kid has that kind of support or the parental support provided isn’t enough to meet the academic and personal challenges the kid faces. Often, something more is needed.

Youth mentoring has proven to be one of the most effective ways of improving both self-esteem and academic success for young people. But mentoring isn’t a one-size-fits-all endeavor. In fact, there are about as many different types of mentor relationships as there are caring adults out there willing to work with kids. A mentor can help with homework, shoot hoops or play baseball, take a young person to the theater, or engage in any number of activities that can help boost self-esteem and confidence.

Making a Difference

Most importantly, mentoring is effective. Students who meet regularly with a caring adult mentor are 52% less likely than other students to skip a day of school and 37% less likely to skip a class during the school day. Likewise, young people in mentor relationships are 46% less likely to start using illegal drugs and 27% less likely to begin drinking alcohol (National Mentoring Partnership – www.mentoring.org). Even more striking is the fact that minority youth are an amazing 70% less likely to begin drug use than those not in mentor relationships (Child Trends Research Brief).

Short-term gains from mentoring relationships include an improvement in the young person’s attitude about school; improved behavior at school; better relationships with parents, teachers, and peers; higher college enrollment and greater aspirations beyond high school; and improved decision-making, communication, social and relationship skills.

But the young people aren’t the only ones who benefit. Mentors report a greater satisfaction in their connection to the community and an increased sense of pride in making a positive contribution to the lives of at-risk youth. They also benefit from opportunities to develop new communication skills and further enhance their own strengths (www.nwrel.org/mentoring; Cori Brewster & Jennifer Fager, Sept. 1998).

Baby Steps

The great thing about being a mentor is that you can do it any way you like. Mentors can work through programs like Big Brothers, Big Sisters or countless agencies that pair caring adults with kids in need of a helping hand. But what if you don’t have time for that kind of commitment? No problem! You can still make a contribution. Consider asking kids in your neighborhood or you friends’ children how they are doing in school. Ask about their interests, what they are learning, and what they want to be when they grow up. Encourage them to stay in school and to go to college. If you can be a mentor through a more formal relationship, super. But if not, just showing some concern for the kids you encounter is a way to make “mentoring” part of the culture in the Metro area and to show kids that plenty of adults out there want them to be successful and are willing to help.

Education, General, Volunteering Children, Education, making a difference, mentoring, Metro United Way, reading, Volunteer, youth

by Natalie Harris

Photo by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid - click for link

Oh, the iPhone.  In my house, it made an appearance just a few months ago.

Boy. has it ever.

My husband really can justify having one (he runs his own business, has no assistant, and is out visiting sites all over the city throughout the day),  but as his attachment to this lovely little device grows and grows, so does my level of frustration.

“But look at all that it helps me do!” he says.  He can send e-mail while at a jobsite!  He can get directions!  He can check prices!  He can take photos!  He can miss conversations!  He can forget to talk to our toddler!  He can help our teenager tune out even more by handing it to him at family functions!

Harrumph.

So when I came across this New York Times article yesterday, The Risks of Parenting While Plugged In, did I ever get excited.  Proof!  Validation of my recent tirades in black and white!  Sudden reason to examine my commitment to my laptop!  Wait — uh-oh.

As I overheard a friend of mine saying last night, “It’s hard being married to a righteous man.”  Ouch.  Turns out I’m the righteous one in the family, and the problem with all that righteousness is that you start to become blind to your own flaws;  I am just as guilty of distraction by way of e-mail, facebook, or, irony of ironies, The New York Times website.

I know that in this world where everyone –work, family and friends – expects us to be accessible all the time that it’s incredibly difficult to turn off all that distraction.  But as the article above points out, this constant need to stay connected electronically gets in the way of the meaningful connections in our lives, especially with our children.

Young children, in particular, need that connection to us.  They need it to develop language skills, to build their social skills, and to simply engage and learn about the world around them.  When we’re tuned into the smartphone at the playground, or even at the grocery store, we’re missing critical opportunities for learning.

As part of our Success By 6 work, one of the major initiatives here at Metro United Way, we’ve connected to a nationwide program called Born Learning.  Born Learning promotes using everyday life as a learning opportunity, and offers lots of guidance and suggestions on how to make it happen.  For many of us, this may seem intuitive, but I know I could definitely use a refresher, and to remember to turn off the computer between the hours of 5:00pm-9:00pm ( AND to hide that iPhone).

Education, General Children, early childhood, Education, parenting, reading, Success By 6, youth

By Christina Clements

I started volunteering at Brooklawn Child and Family Services during the after-school tutoring program’s very first year. Brooklawn treats children who have severe emotional and behavioral problems, most often due to abuse or trauma. The after-school tutoring program helps children progress in their treatment by assessing their academic needs and helping them improve in school.

Every Wednesday, for one hour, I came to Brooklawn and worked with “Marcus” to help him improve his basic reading skills. He always picked books where he could find certain objects on the page, because he thought he would get out of reading. He then would laugh when I’d cover both pages and make him read the words first before he could find the pictures. After he’d read the paragraph, we’d race to see who could find the most objects.

Now I coordinate the tutoring program by matching volunteers with students who need help with reading and math. I tell my volunteers that I tutored as well, so I know how they feel when their student gets frustrated, but I also know how great it feels when their student finally grasps math concepts after weeks of practice, or when a student’s reading score increases. And instead of just seeing one child every week, I get to see all of them progress, not only in school, but in building relationships with volunteers.

For more information about volunteering at Brooklawn, visit our website at www.brooklawn.net or contact Missy Fountain at mfountain@brooklawn.net.

Volunteering Brooklawn, math, reading, tutoring

By Angie Ditsler

Photo by guldfisken - click on photo for link

Russ told me once that his earliest memories as a child are of his mom walking him to the Crescent Hill Library every week to read to him and let him pick out books to take home. He told me that even as an adult he still vividly remembers the smell of the books in that library, and they conjure up fond memories for him every time he drives past it to this day.

Needless to say, this has led to ongoing jokes in our family about “smelling books.” Whenever I can’t decide which book to pick up next to read, Russ’ typical response to me is usually something like “Well, which one smells better?”

On a more serious note though, we’re both grateful to have been instilled with a love for reading in our childhood. Evening routines for us usually involve a glass of wine and a good book, and one of our favorite things to do on Sundays is to peruse the aisles of Books-a-Million or Barnes and Noble then relax and read until the store closes.

An aspiring writer himself, my husband devours books at about twice the rate I do. Russ accomplished a long-time goal of his when he recently published his first novel, a political thriller called Agent of Influence. He spent six years researching and writing his book, and the past year and a half has really been a team effort as we’ve worked together revising, editing, and trying to get it published. Being exposed to books at an early age has really inspired us and honed our talents in different ways: I always remind Russ that he is the creative genius in the family, while I have eye for detail.

Now that I get to work on various Success By 6 initiatives in my professional life, the importance of exposing young children to positive and healthy experiences early on like reading really hits home for me. One thing that my husband and I agree on is that when we have children of our own some day, we want them to grow up smelling books the same way we did. Who knew that a memory like the smell of a book could have such an impact on someone’s life?

Education, General Agent of Influence, books, reading, Success By 6

If there is one thing that working with Success By 6 has confirmed for me it is to instill a love of reading in my child. We read everyday at our house. In fact, Luke has made up a new game to play called “naptime.” He tells his dad and me to “go take your nap.” He tucks us into his bed, reads us a story, gives us our kisses, says goodnight and closes the door to his room. My husband actually finds this to be a very cruel game, because just as we are feeling nice and relaxed, Luke will burst into the room, turn on the lights and loudly say, “Time to wake up!” My favorite part of naptime is when Luke reads our bedtime story. He usually chooses one of his favorite books. So, he knows most of the words or uses the pictures to make up what is happening in the story. I think that it is very cool that reading a story has to be a part of “naptime.”

Luke has many favorite books, including the Clifford the Big Red Dog series. One of the reasons that he loves Clifford books so much is that there are pictures of the covers of other Clifford books on the back of each book. He likes to go through all of the pictures and find the pictures of the books that he has in his collection. Sometimes, this can lead to reading six books in a row, but I don’t mind. My bigger issue is that I can’t walk into a book store without checking out which Clifford books they have. I am constantly trying to find as many of the books featured on the back of the covers that I can. In fact, this morning I ordered a set of six Clifford books– three that we already have – from the Scholastic book order that came home from school just so I could add to Luke’s Clifford collection.

As I placed my order this morning, I thought about all of the children who do not have fifteen Clifford books in their collections or entire bookcases full of beautiful children’s books. It made me sad. But I couldn’t be sad for too long because my next thought was of the boxes and boxes of books that we just received from the Borders book drive.

This summer, for the third year in a row, Borders provided its customers with the opportunity to give a book to a young child who may not otherwise have one. And again this year, I was overwhelmed by the generosity of our community.  When I spoke with my Borders contacts about halfway through the drive they told me that it seemed like the donations were going to be down this year because of the economy. We have not yet sorted and counted the books to know for sure how many books there are, but by the looks of the boxes stacked in our basement, our community once again showed its caring power and gave even if it hurt. There will be hundreds and hundreds of small children who will receive a book to take home. I wonder if any of them will tell their mommies and daddies that it is time for a nap, read them a book and put them to bed.

Education, Giving Borders, early childhood, reading, Success By 6

I began working in the early childhood field over a decade ago. Six years ago I came to Metro United Way and began my work with Success By 6. Throughout my career I have worked to support parents and caregivers in their roles in the lives of young children. Often times this meant providing “parent tips,” training, and advice to parents and child care providers.

Nearly three years ago, my son Luke was born, and I knew I was going to have to see if I could practice what I had preached. Would I be able to implement all of those “simple strategies” I’d suggested to others? Would I do some of the things that I had advised against? When it came down to it would I live up to my own expectations of what a parent should be?

Anyone who is a parent – or even knows a parent – understands that parenting is no simple job. In fact, it is the most important job that we will ever have, and it is a 24/7 kind of deal. So, there are many things that I was worried about how I would handle in my new role as “mommy.” Honestly, I can remember being extremely nervous about caring for the little umbilical cord stump and cutting his nails. I have no idea why these two things caused me such anxiety. Looking back neither was really a big deal at all, but I did learn that new parents worry about every little thing, and I was no exception – despite my years in the field. In thinking about the “big picture stuff,” I was concerned about healthy eating habits, sleep issues, maintaining a routine, instilling strong family values, and making sure that this little person was loved and nurtured – among others.

Early literacy skills and nurturing through reading have been strong focuses of Success By 6. In the months before Luke was born, I would sit in his nursery and read to my gigantic belly. Certainly, reading to my child everyday would be something I would do. Right? Over two and a half years later, my answer to this question is that we do read together everyday, for the most part, and like so many others it is a big part of our bedtime routine. However, it hasn’t always been quite as easy as I thought, and there are days when it can be more of a chore than a fun, nurturing experience.

For instance, when Luke was about one he was so busy trying to turn the pages himself that we didn’t always get to actually read the books. For an avid reader like myself, this was kind of annoying, despite the fact that it was absolutely age-appropriate. Currently, we are in the phase of reading and re-reading the same books over and over again. I have secretly thought about hiding Elmo’s Big Lift and Look Book so that I can get a break from it. He also has figured out that I think reading is very important. He uses this against me to put off going to sleep. He is certain that he can say, “One more book, Mommy” over and over to keep me in his room for as long as possible before I turn the lights off.

However, as all parents know, the joy that our children bring us far outweighs the fact that parenting is a hard job. There really isn’t anything I enjoy as much as laying in his bed at night curled up under the covers with his favorite books. He loves being read to and he is beginning to love to “read” his books to me. When he “reads” to me the inflection in his voice is modeled after how I read to him. His imitation of me in this particular way provides me with a great sense of pride and accomplishment.

Reading to Luke daily has been a confirmation to me that it is a vitally important component of what our youngest children need. It has shown me that although I am well-versed on this subject that I am always looking for new ways to do it better. And I have found that it is as much about providing that safe, nurturing experience as it is about setting the foundation for learning to read.

In the coming weeks, I will continue to explore other aspects of my personal Success By 6 experiment through these blog posts. I would welcome comments from others about your experiences with young children.

Education early childhood, parenting, reading, Success By 6