LIVE UNITED Y’All!

When I first started with Metro United Way almost seven years ago, I staffed what was then the Success By 6 Child Care Action Team. This team had developed several strategies about how to support child care providers in their efforts to provide high quality child care for young children and how to ensure that working families had access to affordable high quality child care.

One of the strategies that this team chose to focus on was the promotion of Work/Life Balance and the recognition of companies that offered their employees family-friendly policies. This seemed like a good idea to me. I was on board with this strategy. I thought that it was important. However, it wasn’t until after I had my own child that I realized just how hard it is to balance all the work life stuff, and I work at one of those places that is pretty supportive of me in my role as a parent.

I’ve talked to lots of my girlfriends about this and it seems to ring true for every single mom that I know that works outside of the home. The basic problem is that you never feel like you can give enough to anything that you do.

I constantly feel guilty that I am not giving enough of myself to my son, my husband, my job, my friends, my family or myself. I worry that the time that I spend with Luke during the week is too limited and that the hours that I am home are spent preparing dinner, getting him bathed and into bed at a reasonable time. Sure, there is some time in there for us to play, read and snuggle, but it doesn’t really seem like enough time to devote to the most important thing in my life!

I also fret that I don’t give enough of myself to my work. (Trust me when I say that my husband clearly disagrees with me on this.) I think I have a really important job. It is a big goal to ensure that all of the children in our community are healthy, safe, nurtured and prepared to succeed in school. Sometimes I think that having a person in my position who could work a sixty hour work week is what is needed to actually achieve that goal.

And then there are all of the other important life factors that seem not to get the attention that they deserve: my husband (sorry honey!), my friends, my family, and not to be selfish but ME!

And here’s the thing: I know that I have it good. I am lucky to work for an organization that values its employees and their families. When I was breastfeeding, I had an office that I could comfortably close the door and pump milk for my baby. I have fantastic co-workers who I can call upon when Luke is sick and they will cover for me. I have the flexibility to schedule Parent/Teacher conferences at Luke’s school during the workday when his teachers are available. I have volunteer hours that I can choose to use by spending time at my son’s school helping out in the classroom or on Board projects.

I am grateful for the technology that is available to me so that I can check e-mail and work on electronic files from home.

I once heard a speaker refer to a study about Generation X parents like me. We don’t want to miss our kids’ soccer games or school events. So, although we may slip out of the office early for that kind of thing, we make up for it by checking e-mail or doing work after our kids are in bed. Hey, if nothing else, we recognize and strive for a Work/Life Balance in a way that many of our Baby Boomer parents couldn’t.

How’s your balance working out?

Photo Credit: James Jordan

General Life, making a difference, Success By 6

By Kelly Hutchinson, Donor Relationship Manager

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming annual campaign in our community. It is what I do…think, plan, connect, encourage, communicate, review, explore, inquire, inspire, discuss and consider what will make a difference this year in someone’s workplace campaign. What is important to an individual donor? How can I demonstrate appreciation for the good works made possible by our Metro United Way corporate partners, donors and volunteers? I am also leaning into my work and trying to look at things a little bit differently this year. Quite frankly we must. You have heard it before right? If you continue to do things the same as in the past and you continue to get the same results then why does it surprise you?

My list will be kept short, but I hope you will join my conversation and share some of your idea’s on what you think is HOT and what you think is NOT.

What’s HOT:
• Making sure all children are safe, nurtured and prepared to succeed in school ( learn more about Success by 6)
• Making plans in your workplace to educate and build awareness for the work the work of United Way in our community and to Ask for participation in a company campaign where you work…WOW that’s hot!
• Serving as a volunteer Employee Coordinator for a United Way campaign and recruiting some co-worker friends to join you and help make it a success…sizzlin’!
• Sharing stories about your personal experience with United Way or how someone you work with whose life has been touched (meet someone you have helped here)
• Identifying the root causes of problems and providing solutions and support so that people can avoid some problems in the first-place…yep, it’s HOT
• Partnering with schools, service providers and community groups to improve high school graduation rates
• Saying YES when you are invited to join the United Way campaign and following up your giving by volunteering to get closer to the work you make possible and the lives you touch
Did you hear fire trucks?
• Being able to laugh at yourself and have fun while helping create opportunities for a brighter tomorrow
NOT HOT:
• There are nearly 9,000 children in JCPS who are homeless
• There are senior citizens in our community who live in fear of going outside or don’t have enough income for prescriptions and food…so they make choices
• Ice storms, wind storms, flash flooding that destroys peoples property and depletes their savings ( sign up with our volunteer center)
• An increase of nearly 40% of first time callers to 2-1-1 for assistance with basic human needs for food, clothing, shelter and necessities…a term I am hearing called “new poor” in our community
• Too many employees feel like United Way only comes around once a year when it’s time to ask for a donation. That’s not hot. There are endless possibilities and creative fun ways you can stay involved, thank loyal donors and contributors in your work and help employees understand they are making a difference 365 days a year
• Not planning ahead, setting goals or stretching yourself to do better in all that you do. Because if you don’t aim for something then you can’t be surprised when you miss the mark
• Seeing your coworkers dress up like Elvis and sing Viva Las Vegas… not hot…but a great way we added some fun to our employee campaign at Metro United Way and we are all looking forward to see who on our executive team will be donning a polyester jumpsuit next

Tried to keep it short…what’s hot where you work and what’s not?

Advocacy, Education, General, Giving, Health, Income, Volunteering campaign, Common good, community service, how to, recovery, Success By 6

By David Caldwell

Think back to when you started kindergarten. If you didn’t go to kindergarten just think back to when you were a little kid. If you’re my dad, find someone who remembers when you were a little kid and ask them to remind you.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a paleontologist. I thought dinosaurs were the coolest things ever, and I wanted to dig up their bones. Over the years, my career aspirations have changed, but my desire to be something awesome has not. (I still think dinosaurs are just about the coolest things ever by the way.)

This year in Kentuckiana about 12,000 kids will begin kindergarten. How do you think they would answer that question? Probably the same way we did. Astronaut. Teacher. Fire Fighter. Rock Star. Doctor. President.

I bet that none of them said they wanted to be a drug dealer, or a prostitute, or living on the streets, or in jail. The reality is that some of them will end up in those situations and many more that we all would consider equally as horrible.

We can change that. We can turn those horrible realities into wonderful possibilities. We can give children hope. We can make them believe in themselves. We can give them the tools they need to be successful.

How? That’s what Metro United Way Success By 6 is working on. Our goal is that by 2018, all children will enter kindergarten prepared to be successful in school and life.

We need your help. What ideas do you have? What are you willing to work on? What support do you need? Let us know. Visit the website, give me a call (502-292-6157). Let’s make this happen – together!!!

Photo Credit: boynumber1

Advocacy, Education Children, make change, making a difference, Success By 6

By Cori Gadansky

Unsolicited advice – we’ve all gotten it and perhaps we’ve all given it. I have noticed that as a parent, I get a lot more of it than I did before. Now, I’m not saying that I know everything. And I’m not saying that I don’t seek out advice as a parent. I’ve mentioned in previous posts how fortunate I have been to have so many friends, family and experts to go to about issues that come up with my son.  But that’s the difference – when you ask for it and when you are just going along minding your own business and someone feels compelled to share their brilliant insight with you.

For example, Luke is not exactly a small child. (He weighed over nine pounds at birth.) He’s tall and he’s solid, and he is three. So, I still pick him up and hold him sometimes. The cook at his child care center never fails to tell me that “he’s so big he should be holding you.” Of course, almost any time she ever sees us together is at drop off time – when he sometimes takes a minute or two to say good-bye to me, or at pick up time – when he is excited to see me. It’s not like I walk around the house holding him, or I try to squeeze him into a Baby Bjorn. I pick him up the same way that many people I know pick up their three-year-olds – to comfort, cuddle, and love. So, although he may look like he is about to start kindergarten, he really is still at an age where (I think) he needs to be held, comforted and protected from this world that he is still trying to figure out.  Of course, I know that the cook at his school is completely well-intentioned.  He weighs over 40 pounds. In fact, one of these days my back might let me know that Luke really is too big for me to hold. But I never asked for her opinion.

I think there is a lesson to be learned from this related to the work that I do. Success By 6 has a lot of parent education resources that are available to anyone who wants them. I just need to be intentional and thoughtful about the distribution of these materials, because I know first-hand that receiving advice when you never asked for it really isn’t all that helpful. On the other hand, I know that receiving advice and information when you are hungry for it is extremely valuable.

When have you gotten advice that you didn’t want? When have you been in need of information about your children? Did you get what you were looking for?

Photo Credit:  purpleslog

Education parents, Success By 6

By Angie Ratliff

Today is a big day- for my family and me, at least. My nephew Jack, the first member of the new Ratliff generation, is turning 1 today! I’m of course not biased in the least when I say he is the most adorable and clever one-year-old on the planet. Jack’s birthday party preparations have rivaled my own wedding-in-the-works, but how could I resist getting him both the water table activity set and the Step2 Push Around Buggy? Not that I’m vying for “favorite aunt” status or anything…

Although we spent this past weekend blowing up balloons, wrapping presents, and icing cupcakes for the big day, the best part of this weekend (and every weekend I get to spend with Jack) is watching him learn and explore new things. I love the look on his face when he succeeds in picking a flower from the garden, and the way he bops his head and shakes his little body every time he hears music playing. The little man has rhythm already, although he surely didn’t inherit that from the Ratliff side! It’s impossible not to smile when Jack smiles or laugh when Jack laughs. (It’s also impossible not to laugh when Jack sticks out his bottom lip and lets out a fake wail after the dog gives him a big surprise kiss across the face!)

It’s hard to believe that a year has already gone by, and Jack is already on his way to turning two. My work in Success By 6 has taught me that these are the most influential years in Jack’s life. He is blessed little boy to have such a loving and supportive family and opportunities to learn and explore. We often joke in my family that Jack is likely the happiest child alive. He laughs incessantly and even smiles in his sleep. What Jack doesn’t yet realize is how his presence has made the Ratliff clan the happiest family alive, as well.

Photo credit: hfb

General Success By 6

By Cori Gadansky

Last week was a big one for Success By 6. After months of hard work, we announced that a new developmental screening tool is available for any parents in our region to use with their children who are ages birth to five. Click here to request an Ages & Stages Questionnaire for your child. This tool will help parents know if their children are on the right track for success. If children are developing typically parents will receive some basic parenting information from our Born Learning material and other community resources. If there are indications that a parent should seek further evaluation for their children we will make sure that families are connected to existing community services.

Providing parents with a tool to see how their children are doing and connecting them to existing community resources are two of the major components of Help Me Grow a system that was originally implemented statewide in Connecticut and is now being replicated by a handful of other communities across the country.

Metro United Way Success By 6 was selected as one of only five replication sites for Help Me Grow. Last week also marked the visit of the Technical Assistance team from Connecticut. Many community partners came together to learn from Connecticut and to consider our own local strengths and challenges in implementing this system.

Throughout the course of the visit the TA team spoke of the many parents that they connect with through their system. They talked about the single mom who calls to ask questions about services, unsure of where to turn because she has concerns about her child’s development. They spoke about immigrant families who are trying to adjust to a new culture and do the best for their children, but don’t know how to navigate through the human services system. They spoke of countless other families that they help across their state, across income levels, of different races and ethnicities, all with the common goal of helping their children succeed.

As the team shared this information, I was repeatedly struck by how fortunate I am to have such a strong support network. I have my family and my husband’s family in town. I have an amazing group of girlfriends to talk about “mom things” with and I have a circle of professional colleagues who are experts at this child development stuff. Yet sometimes I still feel lost and lonely as I try to be the best mom that I can to Luke. How would it feel to be in the role of mother without that support? Could I even do it? I know there are lots of moms and dads out there that do, but I just can’t begin to imagine how hard it is. If natural support groups of family, friends and colleagues don’t exist for some how can we help to create and connect parents to other supports?

What kind of support networks do you have? Is it one of family and friends? Have you found support from a church group of moms or the parents on your block? Are there programs and services that you and your family use?  As we build our Help Me Grow system we will look to both formal and informal community resources for families. I know that there is a lot out there for families in this community that very much cares about children and youth.

Photo Credit: snorp

Education, Health Ages & Stages, Help Me Grow, Success By 6

Education is an essential building block that leads to a better life for all and is key to improving our community. In an effort to improve the quality of education in our community, Metro United Way and Success by 6 unveiled two new tools at a press conference this morning.

The first is the Common Good Forecaster. It allows people to look up any county in the U.S., shows them the current education levels for that county and state. Using a sliding scale, the Common Good Forecaster also shows the direct correlation between increased levels of educational achievement and improvement in that community.

The second tool is the Ages and Stages Questionnaire, a part of the Help Me Grow initiative. The questionnaires are age appropriate surveys that a parent/guardian can fill out concerning their child and send back to Metro United Way to be scored. This questionnaire allows you to see how your child is developing and if they are on track for all the major milestones they need to accomplish in their childhood. To request your Ages and Stages Questionnaire, please visit the Metro United Way website or call 502-292-6211.

Education, Events, General Ages and Stages, Common Good Forecaster, Help Me Grow, Metro United Way, Success By 6

by Priscilla Henken

For those of you who have school-age children, and for those like me- just out of school and still able to remember- entering kindergarten is a tough time for all. There are all those things you need to do to get your child ready for school. There are vaccinations and examinations, school supplies to buy, and a little bit of separation anxiety to overcome.

Well, there is good news! Kindergarten Countdown, powered by Metro United Way Success By 6, is having a Kindergarten Health Fair. It will be at the Community Baptist Church at 4909 E. Indian Trail on Monday, August 3, 2009 from 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. It is a free clinic, open to all children entering kindergarten in August, 2009.

During the fair there will be physical examinations that are required to enter school, provided by JCPS nurses. Parents who bring in their child’s Shot Record Card and Medical Card will be able to get all the immunizations required for their child to enter school. There will also be dental and eye screenings as well as a nutritional speaker who will be giving tips on healthy after-school snacks and much more.

So make the summer before entering kindergarten a memorable one. Come out to the Health Fair and have some fun while getting your child ready for school. Everything is free and I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun.

(You can get the event flyer here.)

Events, Health Health Fair, Kindergarten Countdown, Success By 6

Hi ya’ll! Did you know that May 11-17 is Children’s Book Week? … I didn’t think so (well, ok, I’m sure some of you knew).

For me, I can’t think of a more perfect time to take a look at the wonderful no-cost early literacy opportunities that exist in our community. If you have a little person in your family, you may want to consider taking advantage of one of the following:

·         Download the new edition of the 100 Books to Read in Kindergarten brochure (click on Success By 6 Resources) that is maintained by our friends at the Jeffersonville Township Public Library.  Several families have been having fun checking off the whole list by checking-out and reading books from their local library.

·         For older kids, check out this list of recommended books from the Horn Book.  I like to consider these before making purchases for young people.

·         Participate in one of the many storytime activities or other educational events for children at your local public library:

o        Bullitt County

o        Clark County/Jeffersonville/Clarksville

o        Floyd County

o        Harrison County

o        Jefferson County

o        Oldham County

o        Shelby County

*Don’t forget to sign up for summer reading programs while you are there.*

·         Join us for upcoming Family Workshops coordinated by Success By 6 and held at Lois A. Kratz Wellness Center at Clark Memorial Hospital in Jeffersonville, IN.  Each one hour session is designed to be interactive, so both parent and child can participate together.  Every child that attends will receive a book or other educational item at the end of the session.

Are there other good opportunities that you know about? If so, reply with your suggestions!

Education Children's Book Week, Clark Memorial Hospital, Family Workshops, Library, Success By 6

Success By 6 offers parent workshops in partnership with a few local hospitals. This effort recently expanded to include monthly workshops at Norton Suburban. I decided to attend the first workshop to make sure everything ran smoothly and because I was interested in the topic. Dr. Jeanette Nunnelley presented her workshop, “Powerful, Practical Practices in Behavior Guidance.” I generally think that I do a pretty good job in the positive discipline arena, but I thought that I should see how I compare to the advice of an expert.

I was pleased that so many of the strategies that she described were ones that I already use with Luke. Here are a few of them:

• Ignore inappropriate behavior and/or redirect. If what he’s doing isn’t going to hurt him and it is just annoying me I try to walk away. And if he is not making the best choice, it is easy to “trick” him into focusing his attention on something else.
• Catch your child being good. When he uses good manners or is sweet to another person I praise him and tell him how proud I am of the behavior I want to see more of.
• Use simple preventative measures. No one likes to be rushed. In our frantic family one of the most valuable strategies that we use is to give five minute warnings (followed by a countdown of minutes) when it is nearing time to move to our next activity.

Of course, I have had the opportunity to sit in on countless early childhood training sessions when I worked in the child care field, and I have real-life experience with lots of other people’s children who I have cared for. So, I should already know these techniques. The part that pleases me the most is that I almost always put them into practice. Don’t get me wrong, everyone loses their patience sometimes. I know that I have fussed at him in a less than appropriate way on at least a couple of occasions.

I can think of one bedtime in particular. We had gotten all set: all clean from bath, pajamas on, lots of books thrown into the bed waiting to be read, and goodnight kisses for Daddy. In my mind we were all set for a typical bedtime. Apparently Luke had other things in mind. He kept getting out of bed to go get stuff telling me, “I be right back.” He would come back, get back into bed, think of something else and jump out of the bed again. I probably ignored this behavior for a little too long because I finally had enough and told him in a raised voice that if he didn’t get into that bed then we weren’t reading any books at all and I was leaving the room. My overly-sensitive child cried. He hung his head and wouldn’t look at me. He finally said, “I’m mad.” I felt bad about hurting his feelings, but I was impressed with his ability to name his feeling. We snuggled and read books after that, but it still wasn’t an exchange that I felt good about.

The biggest take-away for me from Dr. Nunnelley’s workshop was her reminder to be an appropriate role model for your child. This is actually something that I am trying to be intentional about in everything that I do: Be the change that you want to see. So, of course it makes sense for me to be the kind of person that I want my son to be.

What works with your child?  When have you been frustrated?

photo credit:  brungrrl

Education Children, early childhood, parent workshops, parenting, Success By 6